如何帮助一个愤怒的青少年呢？上

司马如花 · 发表于 2015-12-11 12:18:21

本帖最后由司马如花于 2015-12-11 13:38 编辑

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How can you help an angry teen?
你能如何帮助一个愤怒的青少年呢？

Posted Jun 28, 2011

最近我得到一个特权，有机会成为一档全国电台脱口秀的嘉宾。那期脱口秀的主题是愤怒。当有人带着自己的问题和评论打来电话时，我听到了一个反复出现的主题；“当你的孩子总是生气时你会怎么做？”这使我意识到我们的问题有多大。这说明现实生活中有很多愤怒的青少年。由约瑟森道德研究中心主持的美国青年道德调查表明，许多青少年使用身体攻击来表达他们的愤怒。这项调查涉及到43321名年龄在15到18岁的青少年。这项调查揭示了过去12个月中状况：

52% of these students have hit someone in anger.
52%的这些学生曾经在愤怒中打过别人

28% (37% of boys, 19% of girls) of these students say it's okay to hit or threaten a person who makes them angry.
28% 的这些学生（其中男孩占37%，女孩占19%）说攻击或威胁让自己生气的人没有错

Why are teens so ready to lash out in anger?  What can we do to help them?
为什么这些青少年随时准备好在愤怒中发飙？我们做什么能帮助他们呢？

Upon devoting many years researching and studying anger, I have developed a seven step process to help people cope with anger.  Below I've included a brief synopsis of each step in hopes to give one more person the ability to defeat the controlling effects of anger...
迄今为止对愤怒的调查和研究已经进行了很多年，我已经建立了一个七步法来帮助人们处理愤怒。以下我会简单介绍每一步，希望能有多一个人拥有击败愤怒带来影响的能力……

Seven Steps to Control Anger
控制愤怒的七步

1.    Explore Your Anger
      探索你的愤怒

Have you ever wondered why you're so angry?  Exploring the roots of your anger and how it is affecting your life and your relationships with others is the first and most important step in anger management.  All behavior serves a purpose.  Explore what's got you so hot headed.  What purpose is your anger serving?
你曾经有好奇过为什么你这么愤怒吗？探索你愤怒的根源以及它是如何影响你的生活的，而且你和他人之间的关系最重要的一步就是管理你的愤怒。所有的行为都有服务的目的。探索是什么让你如此头脑发热。你的愤怒服务了什么？

2.    Understand Your Anger
      了解你的愤怒

Understand where all of your anger is coming from. It is important to become aware of situations that make you angry, notice what you do when you get angry, and think through the consequences of your actions.  Learn to identify your anger triggers.  Also, identify your body's response to anger.  Does your face get red, your muscles tighten or does your heart beat faster?  Knowing these signs and your response to anger will increase self-awareness, which may help you to diffuse an anger provoking situation.  A great way to track your anger patterns is through self-monitoring and journaling.  By becoming more aware and keeping track of your anger episodes, you can begin to change your response to anger.
明白你所有的愤怒来自哪里。明白这一点对识别那些会使你生气的情景很重要，当你愤怒的时候注意一下你会做什么，思考一下你所采取行为的后果。学习确定使你愤怒的触发器。并且确定你的身体对愤怒的反应。你的脸会红吗，你的肌肉会紧绷吗或者你的心跳会加速吗？知道这些信号和对愤怒的反应将会提高自我意识，这会帮助你在面对恼火情景时分散你的愤怒。追踪自我愤怒模式的一个非常好的方法是自我监督和记日记。通过越来越多的自我意识和保持对自己愤怒片段的追踪，你就能够开始改变自己对愤怒的回应。

3.    Communicate Effectively When You're Angry
      当你生气时要有效的交流

Communication is an important part of working through anger. Learning the art of effective communication can turn a tense situation around.  Practice using good listening skills, make eye contact, clarify what is being said, use non-accusatory statements and most of all, make sure that you have all of the information before you react. Using "I" as opposed to "You" messages is another great communication tool.  Below is an example:
交流是克服愤怒很重要的一部分。学习有效交流可以将一个剑拔弩张的时刻化解掉。练习使用好的倾听技术、眼神交流、清楚说了什么、使用非指责性的语句，以及最重要的是确保在你反应之前掌握了所有的信息。在信息中使用“我”而不是使用“你”是又一个很棒的交流工具。以下就是一些例子：

"I" Message
“我”信息

I felt angry when you ignored me today because it made me feel like you didn't like me.
今天当你忽视我的时候我觉得很生气因为这会让我觉得你不喜欢我。

As opposed to...
与此对立的是……

"You" Message
“你”信息

You always ignore me!
你总是忽略我！

Notice how the "You" message is an accusatory statement that puts the receiver on the defense.
“你”信息传递的是一个指责的语句，注意它是怎样将信息的接受者放早防御位置上的。

4.    Identify Your Feelings
       确定你的感觉

Anger is an emotion that can be concealed and oftentimes confused with other emotions (i.e., jealousy, greed, embarrassment and being hurt).  Learn to sort through your emotions before acting out of impulse.  Identify what you're really feeling and address that emotion rather than mask it with anger.
愤怒是一种情绪，可以被隐藏起来，并且常常会和其他情绪（例如嫉妒、贪婪、尴尬和被伤害）混合在一起。在冲动的采取行动之前学习给你的情绪分类。确定你真正感觉到的是什么并且强调这个情绪，而不要用愤怒伪装。

（未完见下）

凡尘荼靡 · 发表于 2015-12-11 19:23:58

谢谢分享。

netkeychina · 发表于 2015-12-11 20:50:09

谢谢分享~

9zjuzilaoshi · 发表于 2015-12-12 05:28:58

谢谢分享。

psy吴小文 · 发表于 2015-12-12 20:38:35

静候余下三个方法{:soso_e142:}

司马如花 · 发表于 2015-12-16 09:47:34

多谢支持

pigeon · 发表于 2019-4-22 11:08:31

感谢分享，学习了！

如何帮助一个愤怒的青少年呢？ 上

如何帮助一个愤怒的青少年呢？上