1. Stand Your Ground: Once you limit is set, don’t back down or re-negotiate. Giving in teaches children that abuse works. 坚守你的信念:一旦你设置了限制条件,不要后退也不要重新谈判。屈服会教给孩子谩骂有用。
2. Abuse is Never Acceptable: Make it clear that name-calling, cursing, psychical abuse is never tolerated. Mutual respect is the standard. Be sure to model the behavior you want from your child and don't sink to his or her level. 谩骂是绝对不允许的:说清楚骂人、诅咒、肢体侮辱是绝对不允许的。相互尊重才是标准规范。你想要孩子成为什么样子,确保你能做出榜样,并且不要把自己降到和儿子或女儿一样的水平上。
3. Don’t Threaten or Bully Back: If you’re kid is bullying, don’t respond with counter threats or bullying. Remember, you’re the parent. Maintain your authority and keep your cool. 不要威胁或恐吓回来:如果你的孩子恐吓你,不要以相反的威胁或恐吓回应。记住,你是家长。维持你的权威,并且保持冷静。
4. Take a Time Out: When possible, step away and give yourself and your kid time to calm down. Self-reflection fosters greater maturity. Mindfulness de-escalates conflicts. 暂停一下:如果可能的话,走开,给自己和孩子一点时间冷静。自我反省会促进更高程度的成熟。正念会逐渐降低冲突。
5. Stay United with Your Spouse: Kids always practice “divide and conquer” with their parents. Don’t be pulled into debates about decisions. Stand strong together in parenting decisions, and work out disagreements in private. 和你的伴侣保持一致:孩子们总是会对父母使用“各个击破”的方法。不要因为做出不同的决定而引起争论。在有关抚养孩子的问题上保持强大的一致,分歧可以私下解决。
Parents Set Behavioral Standards 父母们设置行为标准。
While it's natural for kids to rebel against their parents, when rebelling turns into abusing, it's vital for parents take a stand. Structure, limits and boundaries are not organic-- they must be taught to children. Remember, parent abuse only thrives when authority is weak.
尽管孩子反抗父母是天性,但是当反抗变成谩骂时,父母们申明立场很关键。结构、限制和界限不是有机整体——必须把它们分别教给孩子。记住,只有父母权威很弱时,父母才会肆意谩骂。