人际交往之谈话秘诀

sunshine · 发表于 2015-9-28 11:07:22

7155210629_80764f870d_m.jpg (8.31 KB, 下载次数: 0)

2015-9-28 11:05 上传

For better convos, follow the Ping-Pong, Traffic Light, & 1-Second Pause Rules.
想要有一个比较好的交流，那么你可以考虑遵循乒乓原则，交通指示灯原则，以及1秒钟停顿原则。

Posted Sep 22, 2015

I have a hard time following these rules. I'm just too impulsive. But if you can, it will improve your conversations' pleasantness and effectiveness. You'll more likely get others to be interested in you, enjoy the conversation, and even do your bidding.
我总是很难做到遵守这些规则。我只是太冲动。但是如果你愿意，这里有些原则将会帮助你增强谈话的愉悦性和有效性。

The Ping-Pong Rule
乒乓球规则

An effective conversation is like a ping-pong game: The ball should be in your court half the time. In a two-person conversation, you should speak 40 to 60 percent of the time. If you speak much more than that, your listener may view you as self-absorbed. If you speak much less than that, while some people will be relieved that you're carrying the ball, most will feel you don't bring enough to the conversation.
一个有效的谈话就像进行一场乒乓球游戏：球在你场内的时间只占比赛时间的一半。在双人谈话中，你说话的时间应该占整体谈话时间的40%—60%。如果你讲话的时间大于这个区间，那么倾听者可能会觉得你只关心自己。如果你说话的时间小于这个区间，那么有些人可能会释然，他们认为你这是在控制球（掌控谈话），但是更多的人会认为你在这场谈话中说得不够多。

The Traffic-Light Rule
交通指示灯规则

During your first 30 seconds of an utterance, your light is green: Your conversation partner is likely listening and not considering you too talkative. During the second 30 seconds, your light is yellow: The chance is growing that the person would prefer you to stop because s/he has enough input and needs to process it, s/he'd like to respond, or simply wants to feel like a participant in the conversation. At the 60-second mark, your light is red. Yes, occasionally, you'll want to run a red light and keep talking, for example, when telling an interesting anecdote. But usually you should stop or ask a question.
你说话的第一个30秒里，亮起的是绿灯：你的谈话伙伴会认真倾听，而且不会觉得你是话多的人。你说话的第二个30秒内，亮起的是黄灯：你说的越久，倾听的那个人就越想让你停下来，因为他或她已经输入足够多的信息且需要处理这些信息，他或她可能想要回答，或者就是简单地想要参与谈话。到了60秒的时候，就亮起了红灯。当然，偶尔，你会想要超越60秒的限制继续说下去，比如，当你在讲一个有趣的轶事时，可能会一直讲下去。但是通常情况下，你应该停下来或者问一个问题。

The One-Second-Pause Rule
一秒钟的停顿规则

How do you feel when interrupted, or even when your conversation partner responds the nanosecond you finish? In contrast, think about how you feel when, after you finish, s/he says hmm and pauses for a moment? We all want to feel like we're being heard, and your waiting just one second before responding makes the person feel heard and valued. It also gives you a moment to think, which can prevent putting your foot in your mouth.
如果你的讲话被打断，或者还没有说完，你的谈话对象就做出回答，这时候你有什么样的感觉？相反请思考一下，当你说完的那一刻或者说完之后，他或她回答“嗯”并且停顿了一会，你又会有怎样的感觉？我们都愿意感觉到被倾听，并且你在回答之前停顿1秒会让他人有被倾听、被重视的感觉。这也会给你自己留下思考的时间，防止无意中说错话。

The problem is in implementation.
问题在于执行

As with so much self-help advice, it's infinitely easier to dispense than to implement. It might help if you ask a trusted conversation partner to raise his or her finger each time you violate one of the rules.
正如很多的自助建议一样，这些规则都是说起来容易做起来难。可以邀请信任的谈话对象帮助你，每当你违反一项规则时，就请他举起手指提醒你。

It may also help to remember that if you follow those rules, you will benefit.
这样做能帮助你记住是否遵守了这些规则，你将会从中获益良多。

julet220 · 发表于 2015-9-29 08:53:34

谢谢分享

sunshine · 发表于 2015-9-29 09:37:55

这几个原则还是比较实用的

hinqin11 · 发表于 2015-10-1 10:26:47

实践检验一下，效果如何

凡尘荼靡 · 发表于 2015-10-4 00:44:11

{:soso_e179:}