你属于哪种人际关系依附类型？ 上

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了解四种人际关系依附类型

Post published by Preston Ni M.S.B.A. on Jul 05, 2015 in Communication Success

你属于哪种人际关系依附类型呢？根据Bartholomew 和Horowitz等人的研究，将成年人的依附类型分为四种：安全型、焦虑矛盾型、轻视回避型、害怕逃避型。大多数人会不同程度的拥有这四种类型，一段时间之后，也可能会发生改变。

Secure Attachment Style
安全依附性

有强烈安全依附类型的人常常表现出一些特点，至少包含下列几种：

• Higher emotional intelligence. Capable of conveying emotions appropriately and constructively.
  

        较高的情商。能够合适地、积极地表达情绪。

• Capable of sending, and receiving healthy expressions of intimacy.
  

         能够发送和接收健康的亲密表达方式

• Capable of drawing healthy, appropriate and reasonable boundaries when required.
  

         在必要的时候，能够划出一个健康的、适当的、明智的界限

• Feel secure being alone as well as with a companion.
  

          不管是独自还是有同伴陪同，都会感到很安全

• Tend to have a positive view of relationships and personal interactions.
  

          倾向于以积极的观点看待人际关系和个人互动

• More likely to handle interpersonal difficulties in stride. Discuss issues to solve problems, rather than to attack a person.
  

           从容地处理人际困难。更可能通过讨论来解决问题，而不是通过攻击他人来解决问题

• Resiliency in the face relational dissolution. Capable of grieving, learning, and moving on.
  

           面对关系分离时，恢复力较强。会悲伤，但能够吸取教训，继续前进

安全依附型的人也并不是完美的。他们也像其他人一样，有起有落，如果被激怒了，也会很生气。他们普遍对待人际关系的方法比较成熟，使得安全依附型人际关系成为这四种依附类型中最健康的类型。

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style
焦虑矛盾依附型

拥有强烈焦虑矛盾依附型人际关系，常常表现出下列特点中的几条：

• Inclined to feel more nervous and less secure about relationships in general, andromantic relationships in particular.
  

         一般来说，对于人际关系会感到较为紧张，安全感较少，特别是对于情侣关系更是如此

• Inclined to have many stressors in relationships based on both real and imagined happenings. These stressors can manifest themselves through a variety of possible issues such as neediness, possessiveness, jealousy, control, mood swings, oversensitivity, obsessiveness, etc.
  

          在真实发生或设想已经发生的人际关系中，会出现更多的压力源。这些压力源会让他们显露出许多可能出现的问题，如：需要感、占有欲、嫉妒、控制欲、情绪起伏、过敏症、强迫性，等等。

• Reluctant to give people the benefit of the doubt, tendency for automatic negative thinking when interpreting others’ intentions, words, and actions.
  

          不愿意相信别人，在理解他人意图、措辞和行为时，有将其自动理解为消极思想的趋势

• Requires constant stroking of love and validation to feel secure and accepted. Responds negatively when not provided with regular positive reinforcement.
  

           需要持续的关爱，以及能够有效地感觉到安全感和被接受。一旦不能经常地提供这种积极的强化，就会有消极地反应。

• Drama oriented. Constantly working on (sometimes inventing) relationship issues in order to seek validation, reassurance, and acceptance. Some feel more comfortable with stormy relationships than calm and peaceful ones.
  

          剧本倾向型。持续地致力于（有时候还会创造）人际关系问题，一以此来寻求有效的关系、安慰和接纳。一些人觉得强烈的人际关系比和平宁静的人际关系更舒服。

• Dislike being without company. Struggle being by oneself.
  

           喜欢有人陪伴。竭尽全力避免一个人落单。

• History of emotionally turbulent relationships.
  

           有情绪动荡的人际关系历史

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style
轻视回避依附类型

拥有强烈的轻视回避依附型的人，一般会表现出一下几个特点：

• Highly self-directed and self-sufficient. Independent behaviorally and emotionally.
  

           高度以自我为中心，以及过于自信。行为和感情上都很独立

• Avoid true intimacy which makes one vulnerable, and may subject the Dismissive-Avoidant to emotional obligations.
  

           避免真正的亲密，真正的亲密会使一个人变脆弱，可能使轻视回避服从于情感上的责任

• Desire freedom physically and emotionally (“no one puts a collar on me.” Pushes away those who get too close (“I need room to breathe.”)
  

           在感情和身体上都渴望自由（“没有人给我上枷锁”）把离的很近的人推远（“我需要呼吸的空间”）

• Other priorities in life often supersede a romantic relationship, such as work, social life, personal projects and passions, travel, fun, etc. In these situations, the partner is frequently excluded, or holds only a marginal presence.  
  

           生活中的其他重点可能会凌驾于爱情之上，比如工作、社交生活、个人项目，以及激情、旅行、娱乐等等。在这些情况下，伴侣常常被排斥在外的，或者处于一个边缘状态。

• Many have commitment issues. Some prefer to be single than to settle down. Even in committed relationships, they prize autonomy above much else.
  

          很多人都有承诺方面的问题。一些人更喜欢保持单身，而不愿稳定下来。即使在已经确认的关系中，他们也会把自主性放在第一位。

• May have many acquaintances, but few truly close relationships.
  

           可能会有许多熟人，但是很少有真正亲密的朋友。

• Some may be passive-aggressive and/or narcissistic.
  

           极反抗型或者自我陶醉型。