And that is not a bad thing. There is nothing wrong in requiring children to comply with parental requests. In fact, compliance is a necessary first step to cooperation. Children typically have to learn to comply before they are able to cooperate.
这不是一件坏事。要求孩子遵守家长的要求并没有错。实际上，服从是合作的第一步，并且是必要的一步。在有能力合作之前，孩子们尤其需要学习服从。
有时候家长们觉得要求服从是一种简单的统治形式，或者是一种不尊重。一些家长觉得提出要求就无法尊重孩子的自主权，并且需要更正他们自己的行为。但是，当一个父母不要求孩子服从时会发生什么呢？家长们相信，要求服从显示了对孩子自主权的不尊重。
However, a child who is allowed to refuse to a parent’s request is being taught that the parent’s interests need not be respected.
然而，允许孩子拒绝父母的要求就是向他们传达一种观念，父母的权利不需要被尊重。
And so, the parent’s respect for the child comes at the expense of the child’s respect for the parent!
因此，父母对孩子的尊重所付出的代价是孩子不尊重父母！
这是一个灾难公式。
First, instead of producing cooperate and harmonious parent-child interactions, it brings about chaos.
首先，这种行为不仅不能产生合作、和谐型的亲子关系，它还会带来一种混乱。
Second, if cooperation means working together toward a common goal, a child who never learns to comply can never learn to cooperate.
第二，如果合作意味着朝着一个共同目标一起前进，那么一个学不会服从的孩子就永远没办法学会合作。
To cooperate, a child must learn to act not only on her own behalf but also for the sake of others.
为了学会合作，一个孩子必须学习行动时不仅代表自己，还要为他人考虑。
In this way, compliance is the first step to fostering Co-operation.
这样，服从是培养合作的第一步。
Only after a child learns to comply can a parent begin to teach children how to engage in the give-and-take of genuinely collaborative and cooperative interactions.
一个孩子只有学习过服从之后，家长才能开始教孩子如何真正地投入到公平交换的协作关系和合作关系中。
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发表于 2015-6-25 11:45:05
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