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如何结束你和孩子之间的“作业战争”

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发表于 2015-9-8 10:48:40 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |正序浏览 |阅读模式 来自 上海
本帖最后由 你也是蘑菇嘛 于 2015-9-8 10:51 编辑

Use these ten strategies to end the homework wars
使用这十条策略帮助你结束作业战争

Posted Sep 06, 2015

一提到家庭作业,家长们就心力交瘁,满耳听到的都是这些沉闷的、很值得怀疑的话:“我在学校就已经完成了”,“今天没有布置作业”,“这对我的成绩没什么帮助”,“不管怎么样,我的老师从来都不看我的作业”,“那些作业不是强制完成的”。做为父母,听到这些话就足够让人抓狂了。在我写的一本书中提到,当孩子们不想做作业时,家长们不能将自己的情绪发泄在他们身上。以下的策略会帮助你的孩子或青少年摆脱这种状况:

• Nix the nagging!
    拒绝唠叨!


Pestering creates an adversarial, shaming dynamic that backfires. Instead, try my Calm, Firm and Non-controlling approach. Gently empower your child or teen by supportively saying, "I see that you are frustrated. Let's think of ways to help you get back on track with your homework/schoolwork."
喋喋不休的唠叨会创造一个对立的、令人羞愧的动力,这种动力会充当反抗的火力。尝试一下我说的冷静的、坚定的、非控制性方法。你可以说“我知道你很懊恼。让我们一起想一个办法来帮助你回到做家庭作业或课堂作业中去”,通过说这种支持性的语言温和地将全力交给你的孩子或青少年。

• Encourage effort over perfection.
    鼓励孩子努力就好,可以不完美。


Be mindful that kids tend to get intimidated when they have a hard time understanding material. They may get into negative self-talk like, "I can't do this." Even if they're truly thinking this way, parents may instead hear comments like, "I hate this." or "This is stupid." Remind your child or teen that doing his best effort is better than not doing it at all.
要当心,当孩子们很难理解材料时,他们会倾向于模仿。也许他们会消极的对自己说,“我做不到”。即使他们真的这样想,也许家长们会听到这样的评论,“我讨厌它”或者“这很愚蠢”。提醒你的孩子或青少年,尽自己的最大努力总比什么都不做要好。

• Prioritize.
    分出轻重缓急。


Coach and encourage that the order that homework is done based on urgency, complexity, and workload. At the same time, realize that some students do better by starting with easier tasks and that this can help spark them to tackle more demanding assignments.
教导并鼓励孩子按照一定的顺序完成作业,排列顺序要以急迫性、复杂性和工作量为基础。同时,认识到有些学生学习的时候由浅到深会表现得更好,并且这种由浅到深会引发他们处理更高要求的任务。

• Break it down.
    拆分解决。


Reinforce breaking up homework time into manageable chunks and encourage taking regular breaks. Encourage moving around and walking away for a bit. Remind that an apple really does provide the same effect, and is healthier than an energy drink.
强化这种模式,将整块的家庭作业拆分成可管理的时间模块,并且鼓励孩子定时休息。鼓励孩子在周围活动一下,多走走路散散步。提醒孩子,苹果和功能饮料有一样的作用,而且比功能饮料更健康。

• Think "15 minutes of pain."
    花“15分钟痛苦”。


Have the student set a timer for only fifteen minutes. Keep it lighthearted and explain that even if it "hurts" doing the work, she can stop after fifteen minutes. Like most things in life, once we push ourselves and get going, it's not so bad.
让学生划出15分钟时间。保持心情愉悦,并且向他们解释,即使做这项任务“很受伤”,她或他可以暂停一会,15分钟之后再继续。就像生活中大部分事情一样,一旦我们推着自己向前,就会发现事情其实并没有那么遭。

• Don't be consequence ravenous.
    不要过分注重结果。


Imposing consequences for homework not being done can backfire with defiant behavior. If you use consequences, don't present them with yelling. Keep them reasonable and ask the student to help you be able to move towards rewards (don't go overboard) and minimize consequences. Remember that real, natural consequences are the best motivators.

强迫他们完成没有做完的作业只会让他们以消极的行为反抗。如果你想要利用结果,那么就不要对他们怒吼。让他们保持理智,要求学生帮助你提高设置的奖励(不要做得太过头)并且最小化结果。记住,真实的、自然的结果就是最好的动力。

• Encourage Connection.
    鼓励联系。


Encourage the student to make or re-establish a connection with his teacher. I have seen hundreds of kids "shoot themselves in the foot" with incomplete homework if they don't have a decent relationship with their teacher.
鼓励学生与他的老师建立或重新建立联系。如果学生们与他们的老师没有一个良好的关系,他们就不会完成作业,这种行为无异于“开枪打中自己的脚(这里的意思相当于:吃亏的还是自己)”,我见过不少这样的学生。

• Change up the homework/study surroundings.
    改善做作业/学习的环境。


Try putting an inspirational poster by the desk, moving to a different room, or silencing the cell phone. New changes can create more changes.
可以试着在桌子上贴鼓舞人心的海报、换一个不同的房间学习,或者将电话调成静音。新的改变可以创造出更多的改变。

• Use those study halls.
    使用这些自习大厅。


Encourage the use of them as much as possible. Some kids lose sight of that more done at school, means less to do at home.
鼓励学生们尽可能多的使用自习大厅。一些孩子忘记了,在学校多做一点,就意味着在家少做一点。

• Allow for some fun.
    允许有一些娱乐。


Notice if your student is racing through the homework just to have fun. Fun time like, TV, phone time, or surfing the web, is welcome, but make sure you put limits on it.
注意你的学生是否着急着完成作业,只是为了娱乐。娱乐时间包括看电视、玩手机或者浏览网页,这样做当然可以,但是确保有一些限制。


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