This is a three-step process.
这是一个三步过程。
The first step will be to inform the teenager about your thoughts and feelings of disappointment in regards to the undesired behavior. 第一步就是要告诉孩子你的想法,你不喜欢那些行为,并且对那些感到很失望。
The second step will be to eliminate all luxuries afforded the teenager. These luxuries include access to funds, loss of driving privileges, loss of leisure time with peers, loss of age appropriate toys, etc. 第二步,就是要限制提供给青少年们的奢侈享受。这些奢侈的享受包括获取资金,取消驾驶特权,取消与同学相聚的休闲时间,取消提供与年龄相符的玩具等等。
The third step will be compensate for the time your teen will typically spend on indulging in these privileges with your personal time spent with the teen. 第三步就是,让孩子把往常沉溺在这些特权上的时间腾出来,和你一起度过这段时间。
This is where the inconvenience comes in, as you too will have to cease your engagement with your luxuries.
这正是困难的来源,因为你同样也要停止沉溺于你的享乐。
What makes this technique so effective is that during the period of time you both spend together with the absence of distractions, you become the primary influence in your child's life.
这个策略之所以如此有效,就是因为当你和孩子排除一切干扰待在一起的时候,你就变成了对孩子的生活影响最大的人。
Parents compete with so many sources of influence in their children's life, most notably the influence of mass media and the influence of peers.
父母要与孩子生活中的许多资源竞争,比如影响极大的多种媒体,和来自同辈的影响。
The goal is to eliminate defiance which can only be accomplished through shared understanding between parent and child.
目标是消除反抗,通过父母和子女相互分享彼此的想法、相互理解才是消除反抗的唯一方式。