You’re hard wired to avoid things that cause you to feel afraid. Fear is meant to keep you safe from danger. So while running away from a hungry lion makes sense, refusing to ask for a raise because you fear rejection isn’t exactly logical.
你努力的回避事物因为你感觉到害怕。害怕的意思是保证你远离危险。所以，逃离饥饿的狮子可以说得通，但是因为害怕拒绝而不向领导要求涨薪水就不那么合乎情理了。
One way to reduce the chances of being rejected is by trying to please everyone. Saying yes to every invite, and agreeing to do things you don’t want to do, may make others like you—at least temporarily.
减少被拒绝的一个方法就是试着取悦每一个人。对每一个邀请都说“Yes”,同意去做那些你不想做的事情，也许想让其他人喜欢你——至少是暂时的。
Vulnerability is key to living an authentic life. But of course, being vulnerable requires you to risk being hurt. If your fear of rejection prevents you from being genuine, you’ll struggle to form sincere relationships.
弱点是活出真实生活的关键。但是当然了，弱点会令你有被伤害的可能。如果你害怕被拒绝而无法做到真诚，那么在形成真诚的人际关系中你将挣扎不休。
Declining to express your opinion, refusing to stand up for yourself, and shying away from asking for what you want equals poor communication. It’s unlikely people are going to hand you what you want in life, unless you ask for it.
拒绝表达你的观点，拒绝为自己发声，羞于要求你想要的东西就等于沟通欠佳。别人不可能把你想要的生活放在你的手上，除非你主动要求。
Rejection doesn’t sting so much when you aren’t faced with it head-on. Hinting, complaining, or giving back-handed compliments are just a few of the ways people with a fear of rejection avoid direct confrontation. But ultimately, this roundabout way of doing business only causes more friction.
当你没有面对着迎头而上的时候，就不会被拒绝蛰的如此疼痛。暗示、抱怨、或者讽刺式的恭维都是害怕拒绝的人避免直接冲突而惯用的几种方式。但最终，这种迂回的做事方式只会引起更多的摩擦。
Rejection hurts and dodging it is one way to avoid the short-term pain. But taking steps to avoid all types of rejection only leads to long-term problems.
拒绝疼痛和回避拒绝是避免短期痛苦的一种方法。但是采取措施回避所有类型的拒绝只能导致长期的问题。
Getting turned down or passed up isn’t the end of the world. Learning to tolerate the distress associated with rejection can actually build your confidence. Once you see that it isn’t as catastrophic as you predict, you’ll learn to take on the attitude of, “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
遭到拒绝或者不理不睬并不是世界末日。学习容忍拒绝带来的痛苦，实际上能够帮助你建立自信。一旦你看到结果并不像预计的那样悲惨，你就会学着承担这种态度，“不冒险，无所得”。