At one time, your beliefs protected you and helped you navigate your life. But as an adult, believing you can't express your anger or that winning is all that matters - doesn't help you anymore. It limits you.
曾经，你的信念能够保护你不受伤害，并且指导你的生活。但是作为一个成年人，继续认为自己不能表达愤怒或者认为赢就是一切——这种信念不能给你带来丝毫的帮助。它会束缚你。
为了理解下意识的信念是如何影响你的生活的，请将他们想象成数学等式的一部分。
美国心理学家艾利斯(1913-2007)提出一个非常简单的公式，用来解释这种非常复杂的行为——我们对环境采取的反应：A + B = C。
A stands for "Activating Event": You have a group project due in two days and all of your team members have gone home early. Your wonderful first date never called you for a second one.
A代表“诱发事件”：你有一个小组项目需要在两天之内完成，而且你的小组成员都已经早早地回家了。你初次的约会对象再也没有给你打过电话。
B stands for "Belief": People are always taking advantage of my hard work. There is something fundamentally wrong with me; I am unlovable.
B代表“信念”：人们总是利用的我的勤奋。我在根本上出了错；我是不讨人喜欢的。
C stands for "Consequence": You finish the project on your own and then seethe so much resentment toward your coworkers afterward that they don't invite you to their networking lunches. Instead of taking the initiative to call and ask them out yourself, you add their name to a long list of people who rejected you.
C代表“结果”：你独自完成了整个项目，然后他们一起吃饭的时候没有邀请你，你压抑着对他们的滔天怨恨。你并没有主动打电话，亲自将他们约出来，而是将他们的名字加入到拒绝接受你的人员黑名单中。
As the saying goes, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. If you can become aware of your own history, you can choose to not repeat old, limiting behaviors. Then you can view a situation with fresh eyes––a beginner's mind, which allows you to make new choices that can improve your life.
俗话说的好，那些不吸取历史教训的人必将重复历史。如果你开始意识到自己的过去，你就可以选择不重复历史，可以限制一些行为。然后你可以用新的眼光看待问题——这种新的眼观就是最初的心态，这会让你做出新的选择，这个新的选择会提高你的生活质量。
Where do you feel it in your body? What thought does it trigger?
你感觉它在身体的哪里？它触发了哪种想法？
注意倾听如下事情：
• I can't be happy until everything is perfect, and I always fail at making things perfect.
每一件事情都完美了我才能开心，我总是不能让事情达到完美。
• My life feels like it's spinning out of control; I need to be prepared for the worst.
我的生活好像脱离了掌控；我需要做最坏的打算。
• I know that if the circumstances of my life would change, it would fix how I feel inside.
如果我生活的环境能够变化，我就可以修复内心的感觉。
一旦你已经确定了能够触发情绪的信念……
问问自己这些问题：
• What is its origin?
它的形成原因是什么？
• Does it still support me?
它还支持着我吗？
• Does it hold me back?
它会使我后退吗？
• Does it cause me to operate from a position of fear?
是它让我在恐惧的态度上采取行动的吗？
• Can I replace it with a more productive belief?
我能用更加富成效的信念来代替它吗？
让我们来这样解释，比如，听到你一直想去的那家公司有一个职位空缺。你的自我暗示是，我的聪明才智不足以申请我梦寐以求的工作。那么现在，仔细检查你列出的问题，并且回答每一问题。沉思一会儿，然后你记起了你的高中老师，她觉得你很愚蠢。你承认了这个念头，你也觉得自己不够聪明，但这种想法阻止你追求自己的目标，限制你在职业上潜在的进步。
Now, turn the old, negative belief into a new, positive one: A lot of the requirements of the job suit my work experience.
现在，用新的、积极的信念代替那个旧的、消极的信念：这个工作的许多要求都适合我的工作经验。
Your beliefs about yourself are like an invisible, underlying script from which you unknowingly act out your life.
你对自己的信念，就像是一个看不见的、潜藏的剧本，不知不觉中你就会按照这个剧本演绎你的生。
The faulty thinking that originated during your childhood have limited you for long enough. You have the power to change your unconscious beliefs, and you must.
这些错误的想法起源于你的童年时期，它限制你的时间已经足够长了。你已经有足够的力量去改变你的潜在信念，而且你必须这样做。