Notice times when your kids are most likely to talk — for example, at bedtime, before dinner, in the car — and be available.
注意倾听，在孩子最有可能说话的时间段——例如，睡觉前、晚餐前、在车里——任何可能的时候认真倾听。
Start the conversation; it lets your kids know you care about what's happening in their lives.
主动交谈；这样做能让孩子们知道你很在乎他们，在乎他们的生活中发生了哪些事情。
Find time each week for a one-on-one activity with each child, and avoid scheduling other activities during that time.
每个星期都抽出一些时间，跟每个孩子进行一对一的活动，切忌在这段时间安排其他事情。
Learn about your children's interests — for example, favorite music and activities — and show interest in them.
了解孩子们的兴趣——比如，最喜欢的音乐和活动——并且表现对这些活动的兴趣。
Initiate conversations by sharing what you have been thinking about rather than beginning a conversation with a question.
跟孩子分享你曾经的想法，最好以这样的方式开启谈话，而不要以提问的方式开始谈话
Let your kids know you're listening 让孩子知道你在倾听
When your children are talking about concerns, stop whatever you are doing and listen.
当孩子在谈论担忧时，不管你正在做什么都要挺停下来，认真倾听。
Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive.
对孩子们说的内容表达出感兴趣，并且不要打断。
Listen to their point of view, even if it's difficult to hear.
倾听他们的观点，即使你很难听得懂
Let them complete their point before you respond.
让他们讲完自己的观点，然后你再回答
Repeat what you heard them say to ensure that you understand them correctly.
重复你听到的话，以确保你能正确地理解他们
Respond in a way your children will hear 以孩子们听得懂的方式回答他们
Soften strong reactions; kids will tune you out if you appear angry or defensive.
弱化强烈反应；如果你表现出愤怒或反对时，你的孩子可能就不会理你了
Express your opinion without putting down theirs; acknowledge that it's okay to disagree.
表达你的观点时不要批驳他们的观点；要承认可以存在不同的想法
Resist arguing about who is right. Instead say, "I know you disagree with me, but this is what I think."
不要执着于谁对谁错。取而代之，要说“我知道你不同意我的观点，但这就是我的想法。”
Focus on your child's feelings rather than your own during your conversation.
在谈话中，重点关注孩子的感觉而不是关注你自己的感觉。
Remember: 记住：
Ask your children what they may want or need from you in a conversation, such as advice, simply listening, help in dealing with feelings or help solving a problem.
Kids learn by imitating. Most often, they will follow your lead in how they deal with anger, solve problems and work through difficult feelings.
孩子通过模仿来学习。大多数情况下，他们会模仿你的方式来处理愤怒，解决问题，以及应对糟糕的情绪。
Talk to your children — don't lecture, criticize, threaten or say hurtful things.
对孩子说话时——不要训斥、批评、威胁或者说伤害性的话语。
Kids learn from their own choices. As long as the consequences are not dangerous, don't feel you have to step in.
孩子们从他们自己的选择中学习。只要后果不危险，你就不必插手。
Realize your children may test you by telling you a small part of what is bothering them. Listen carefully to what they say, encourage them to talk and they may share the rest of the story.