And anyway, anxious kids do so few things wrong in the first place, they are the rule followers, the model students, never the squeaky wheels, shouldn’t we— the thinking goes— just overlook their occasional mistakes or misjudgments, isn’t that the compassionate thing to do?
不管怎样，焦虑的孩子很少第一个做错事情，他们是规则的遵守者，是模范学生，从不会逾越规则，难道我们不应该——思维方向——忽视他们偶尔的错误或者判断失误吗?难道这不是富有同情心的做法吗？
实际上不是这样的。原因如下。
Anxious kids are so afraid of messing up and getting in trouble. They are constantly rattled by the thought that someone could be mad at them.
焦虑型的孩子非常害怕把事情弄糟，非常害怕引起麻烦。他们总认为会有人对他们生气，而这种想法总会让他们紧张。
Anxious kids fear that making a mistake is forever, that it redefines them and instantly changes their reputation—one false move, and (in their minds) they tumble from being star student to being pegged as a trouble maker. That misunderstanding itself makes them more anxious—even when nothing has happened.
他们害怕犯一个错误就是永远性的，这会重新定义他们，并且会立即改变他们的声望—— 一个失误，他们就会从明星学生的位置跌落，被认定为是麻烦制造者（他们心中这样想）。这种误解本身就会使他们更加紧张——即使，没有发生任何事情。
Especially since anxious children are anxious about being corrected, the truly compassionate thing that parents can do is to give their anxious child the chance to see that they can live through a correction.
特别是被纠正，焦虑的孩子对这个尤为焦虑，父母们能做的真正善良的事情就是给孩子一个机会，让他们明白自己可以熬过纠正的过程。这些课程的要点是什么呢？
父母们可能会感觉喜忧参半，因为他们可以想象出这种训练就意味着自己必须生气，拔高声音，透露出少许严重的后果。
Not so. It’s about coaching and training your child to learn, grow and be their best self.
实际上并非如此。这只是指导、训练你的孩子去学习、去成长、去变成最好的自己。目的不是判断、不是使其尴尬、不是贬低；这是教育——这种解决方法能帮助你的孩子在他们自己选择的时候变得“更睿智”。你也不想剥夺孩子的这种引导和机会，对吗？
2.Mind your tone and volume
注意你的音调和音量
Anxious children are very sensitive to tone and easily sense that they are getting yelled at even if you’re talking in a normal tone.
焦虑的孩子对音调非常的敏感，即使你以一种正常的音调说话，他们也能很容易感觉出来自己被吼叫了。
3.Let your child tell you what he or she did wrong
让孩子告诉你，他或她做错了什么。
What’s the best form of correction? When kids can correct themselves, and often anxious kids already know what they did wrong.
改正错误的最佳形式是什么？如果孩子们能够纠正自己，那么通常情况焦虑的孩子已经知道他们做错了什么。
They don’t suddenly become a “bad kid”; they are a good kid who knows what they did wrong, and the task is then to fix it or learn from it.
他们不会突然变成一个“坏孩子”；他们是知道自己做错事情的好孩子，并且能够经受得住弥补局面的考验，或者可以从中吸取教训。
4.Stay away from language of blame: focus on behavior
远离责备的语言：将注意力放在行为上
Rather than saying, You should have…. or, This was your fault! talk about what happened, what they were thinking, and what they would do next time.
不要说“你应该……，或这是错的！”，要谈论发生了什么事情，他们是怎样想的，下次他们会怎么做。