[attach]10133[/attach] What to do when people just don't get you.
当别人不理解你时要怎么做
Posted Nov 16, 2015 Many people feel misunderstood.
许多人会感到被误解。
Of course, it's possible you like being misunderstood. For example, being a jokester can hide your underlying sadness, which, at least for now, you'd like to keep private.
当然，有可能你喜欢被误解。比如，做一个爱开玩笑的人可以隐藏潜在的悲伤，也就是说，至少现在，你更喜欢保留隐私。
If you would like to be better understood, sometimes the solution is as simple as to explain yourself. For example, someone who talks fast and interrupts and thus is perceived as impatient might say, "I know I talk fast and interrupt but I really have a lot of patience so take your time. I almost never lose my patience."
如果你想要更好的被理解，有时候最简单的办法就是解释你自己。比如，有些人说话语速快，会打断他人，然后就被认为是没有耐心的人，他们可能会说，“我知道我语速很快，还会打断他人说话，但是我真的很有耐心，所以你可以慢慢说。我几乎从不会失去耐心。”
但是通常情况下，避免被误解的正确方法取决于细节：
You often seem angry. You'd like to be gentle but can't make yourself. Consider the following:
你似乎常常很生气。你也想表现得绅士一点但是无法控制自己。思考以下几点：
Think of the other person as less capable than you and thus deserving of your sympathy and patience, not your anger.
想一想其他的人能力不及你，值得你的同情和耐心，而不是你的愤怒。
Recognize that your anger at them is really anger at yourself.
认识到你对他们的愤怒实际上是对你自己生气。
Recognize you're paying too big a price for your anger.
认识到你为自己的愤怒所花费的代价太大了。
Develop perspective: How important is this really?
发展的观点（看问题）：这一点有多重要？
You're hyperactive but would love to be calm. Would the following help?
你过分活跃了但想要冷静下来。以下几点或许会帮助到你？
Doing work that doesn't stress you out.
做一些不会给你带来压力的工作。
Putting yourself in calm environments: with calm people, in a quiet room, or even just facing your desk to a wall.
Putting yourself in environments in which your hyperactivity causes fewer problems, for example, in solo work.
把你自己放在一个这样的环境中——你的过度活跃能引起较少问题，比如，独自工作。
You appear confident but are quite insecure.
你呈现出很自信的样子但（实际上）非常缺乏安全感。
Be aware that your mask of bravura makes people expect more of you. If you choose to be more modest in appearance and interaction style, you'll feel less pressure and be more likely to develop relationships with the countless others who also feel insecure.
要知道你那炫耀的面具会让人们对你期待更多。如果你选择表面上表现出更多的谦虚以及互动的方式，你就会感到较少的压力，而且更可能与数不清的同样缺乏安全感的人建立关系。
If the bases of your insecurity are ameliorable, are you doing enough to try to improve? For example, if it's your appearance, is it time for new clothes, hairstyle, or makeup? If you're shy about public speaking, should you join Toastmasters?
如果不安全感的基础是可以改善的，那么你足够努力地尝试着提高自己了吗？比如，是你的外貌（使你缺乏安全感），那么是时候买一件新衣服，换一个新发型，或者好好画画妆了。如果你在公共场合讲话很害羞，那么你应该（考虑是否要）加入主持人俱乐部？
If the bases for your insecurity are tough to improve, for example, intelligence, should you move to a job in which your level of intelligence is sufficient?
如果不安全感的基础是难以改变的，比如，智力因素，那么你是否应该换一份工作，使你自己能更好的胜任？
The "nice" person who is malevolent. Most people who are malevolent don't want to change. Do you? If you might, ask yourself, "Why do you like seeing people unhappy or even making them so?" Usually it stems from a dislike of your life. Can you think of any way to improve your life so you'd take pleasure in making people feel good?
“好人”有着坏心肠。大多数怀有恶意的人不想改变。那么你呢？如果你想，你可以问自己，“为什么你喜欢看别人不开心或者甚至使他们不开心？”通常情况下，这种情绪来源与你对生活的不喜欢。你能想出任何能够改善你生活的想法进而用你的快乐来使其他人高兴吗？