Telling someone with an anxiety disorder to "calm down," is akin to telling someone with allergies to "stop sneezing." Mental illnesses are not a choice. No one would choose to feel paralyzing levels of anxiety, and if the person was able to control their anxiety, they would. Telling someone to "calm down" is invalidating to the person who is struggling and insinuates that they are deciding to have their anxiety disorder. Instead, try asking the person what you can do to support them. It could be beneficial to ask the person this question when they are relaxed, rather than waiting until they are in a state of heightened anxiety.
对患有焦虑障碍症的人说“冷静一下”就相当于告诉有过敏症的人不要“打喷嚏”一样。心理问题不是一个选择题。没有人能够选择自己的焦虑程度为麻木，并且如果有人能控制他的焦虑，那他们肯定会这样做。对挣扎在焦虑障碍症中的人说“冷静下来”一点用都没有，而且这种说法暗指劝说的人已经觉得他们患有焦虑障碍症了。取而代之，你要问他们你做什么事情可以支持他们。在他们放松的时候，问这个问题会很有益，不要等他们处于高度焦虑的状态下再问他们。
2. What you're worrying about is really not a big deal.
你担心的事情真的不是什么大事。
Whatever the person is worrying about is clearly important to them. It is not up to you to determine what should constitute a "big deal" to the person. Again, this goes back to the misperception that anxiety disorders are a choice. Some people who are struggling might know rationally that their fears are unlikely to come to fruition. However, part of having an anxiety disorder is that it can be difficult to stop buying into the anxious thoughts that your mind is telling you. Kady Morrison, a writer who has an anxiety disorder, exemplified this point when she stated, "This is one of the most frustrating things about having an anxiety disorder: knowing as you're freaking out that there's no reason to be freaked out, but lacking the ability to shut the emotion down (link is external)." Rather then expressing opinions about their fears or source of anxiety, listen to their concerns in a compassionate and empathetic manner.
不管这个人担心的是什么，很明显这对他们来说是很重要的事情。什么事情应该能对他构成“重大事件”，这一点不取决于你。这又回到了对焦虑的误解上，焦虑障碍症不是一个选择题。有些挣扎在焦虑障碍症中的人，他们也许在理智上知道自己害怕的事情不可能发生。然而，部分有焦虑障碍症的人很难不去想焦虑的想法，那些焦虑的想法都是大脑告诉他的。Kady Morrison是一位患有焦虑障碍症的作家，对于这一点她是这样解释的，“患有焦虑障碍症是最让人抓狂的事情之一：知道自己吓坏了，并且是毫无理由的害怕，但又缺少平复情绪的能力。”（我们）不要表达有关的害怕或焦虑的来源，而是要以一种富有同情心的方式和感同身受的方式倾听他们的担忧。
3. I know how you feel.
我知道你的感受。
This statement is only helpful if you have a personal experience of struggling with an anxiety disorder. An anxiety disorder can completely consume a person's life and may become a daily struggle. Just because you have the experience of feeling anxious before a test, does not mean that you can understand what someone struggling with an anxiety disorder is going through. However, even though you may never fully understand what they are experiencing, you can still be a crucial source of support. Try to educate yourself on anxiety disorders so that you can learn more about what they are experiencing. It could also be helpful to tell them that you can't understand what it must be like to have an anxiety disorder, but you care about them and are here if they need support.
这种陈述只有在你也有跟焦虑障碍症斗争的经验时才会有帮助。焦虑障碍症能够完全消耗一个人的生命并且还会变成一个日常斗争。仅仅是因为在考试之前有焦虑的体验，并不意味着你能够明白某些有焦虑障碍症的人正在经历着什么。然而，即使从来没有完全理解他们正在经历着什么，你依然能够成为关键的支持资源。尝试着在焦虑障碍症这一点上教育你自己，这样你就能了解更多他们的经历了。