An enlightening list applicable to rejection in love, work and elsewhere.
这个发人深省的被拒绝理由的清单适用于情场、职场以及其他地方
Posted Nov 10, 2015
The obvious possibilities (Just possibilities): 明显的可能性（仅仅是指可能性）
1.You didn’t perform well.
你表现得不是很完美。
2.You’re a work in progress and need to make some more progress.
你的工作正在进行中，并且需要取得更大的进步。
The less obvious but equally possible (a partial list):
较为隐晦但同样有可能（只是一部分列表）
1. You smell just fine, just not to their noses. No accounting for taste.
你很好，只是你不是他们的菜。无法解释。
2. You’re not the right fit for the mission.
你不是这个任务的合适人选。
3. Your name reminds them of someone they never liked.
你的名字让他们想起某个从不喜欢的人
4. They were in a bad mood when you came up.
当你提出来的时候正好他们的心情很糟。
5. You were great but someone hotter came along.
你很棒但是跟你一起来的某个人更炙手可热。
6. You were scary talented and they dreaded being shown up.
你的才华令人畏惧，并且他们害怕自己被人嘲笑。
7. Some logistical detail made you not the best candidate.
一些逻辑上的细节使你不能成为最佳人选。
8. Some silent partner in the decision objected to you, who knows why?
一些平时沉默的搭档在做决定的时候反对你，谁知道为什么呢？
9. They’re subconsciously averse to people who look like you.
他们下意识地不喜欢像你这样的人。
10. They found someone cheaper.
他们找到了要价更低的人。
11. Though they say they want someone just like you, they don’t. They don’t know their own real criteria.
他们虽然说想要像你这样的人，但是实际上他们不想。他们不知道自己的实际标准。
12. They’re so busy convincing themselves that they want someone creative, edgy and “outside the box” that they don’t notice that what they really want is someone who will stay in the box. They sent the wrong signals and you responded to them.
他们正忙着说服自己想要的人是富有创造力、激动人心以及“不受束缚”的人，以至于他们根本没有注意自己真正想要的其实是一个墨守成规的人。他们发出了错误的信号并且你回复了他们。
13. Just your luck, the last person who didn’t work out had a few traits like yours and from that bad experience they concluded that they should say no to those who have your particular traits.
只是你太走运了，上一个没有成功的人有一些特质和你一样，并且从上一次糟糕的经验中他们总结出——他们应该对像你这样有特别特质的人说不。
14. There were so many applicants that they were just overwhelmed. They sped through the applicants looking for reasons to say no, not yes.
有太多的申请人以至于他们被淹没其中。他们花大把的时间见申请人来寻找说NO理由，而不是说YES。
15. They love saying no. It makes them feel superior and discerning. Saying no to you was largely a way of maintaining their dream of being a superior buyer in a buyer’s market.
他们喜欢说NO。这会让他们感到有优越感和洞察力。对你说NO很大程度上能维持他们在买方市场做一个高高在上的买家的梦想。
16. They have some secret commitment (e.g. Scientology). If you knew what it was, you’d want nothing to do with them but since you don’t, you were rejected because you don’t share the commitment.
他们已经有一些秘密承诺（比如，科学论派）。如果你知道这是什么，那么你就不想用它们做什么了，但是既然你不知道，那么就是因为你不分享承诺才会被拒绝。
17. Their priority is to offset some imbalance they perceive. You’re more of something they think they have too much of and less of something they think they need more of.
他们的优先权会抵消一些接受到的不平衡。他们会觉得你更像是（团体内部）已经有的太多的那种人，而不是他们所认为的更需要的人。
18. Esoteric politics among the deciders, something you couldn’t foresee and that had nothing to do with you.
内行人才懂的策略流传在决策层中，这是你无法预见的东西，并且与你个人无关。
19. Someone else came along and wooed them with unrealistic promises. They were gullible and will soon be disappointed.
(除你之外)有些人也随后而来，并且用不切实际的许诺恳求他们。他们很容易轻信这些人，并且很快就会失望。
20.Though it’s hard to perceive yet, the world is changing in ways that increase supply and reduce demand for the very skills you have spent your life cultivating.
尽管很难接受，但是这个世界正以这种方式变化——供应在增加，并且对你花费一生时间培养起的技能的需求在减少。
Are these alternative explanations just your self-rationalizing sour grapes? Possibly. Still, it’s worth keeping in mind how many factors go into decisions and how many of them have very little to do with you, or at least anything about you that you would want to change.
这些别的解释只是你自己想出来的酸葡萄吗？或许是吧。但依然值得铭记在心，有很多因素左右着（他人的）决定，而且这些因素中只有很少的一部分跟你有关，又或者至少你想改变任何关于你的东西。
We regret rejections. It’s a good thing to do since we can often learn from them. Still, sometimes we over-regret, trying to squeeze more insight from a rejection than it can yield.
我们后悔被拒绝。拒绝是一件好事，因为我们常常可以从中吸取教训。然而有时候我们过于后悔，但是要试着从一次拒绝中挤出更多的领悟而不是愤怒。
At some point, it becomes useful to reject more regretting, just say, “who knows why?” and move on. We can’t change ourselves very much or very rapidly, so we don’t want to be whipsawed by every rejection into some new campaign to be different from what we are.
在某些时候，拒绝比后悔更有用，只是说一句“谁有知道呢？”然后继续前进。我们无法大幅度的改变自己或者很迅速的改变自己，所以我们不想被不同于自己阵营的拒绝狠狠的伤害。