1. Role model purpose. Parents who want to motivate children through internal purpose will have an advantage when they are able to demonstrate this through their own actions. Put simply, live an intentional life where hard work and effort result in feeling positive even when the goals aren’t always met the first time around or quickly. 典范目标。想要用内在目标激励孩子的家长们，只有他们通过自身的行为示范，这种内在目标激励的方法才会有大的进步。简而言之，过一个有意识的生活，这种生活是努力工作和勤奋后使人感觉积极向上，甚至当目标并不能总是在第一时间达到或者不能快速显现时，也会有积极向上的感觉。
2. State the purpose. Have your child define who they want to be and how they want to live and help them to identify how they can achieve this through their daily actions and what they need to learn to accomplish their dreams. 陈述目的。让你的孩子定义一下他们想成为谁，他们想要怎样生活，并且帮助他们发现：在日常生活中要怎样做才能达到这个目标以及为了完成他们的梦想还需要学习什么。
3. Explain the why. Some children will not always readily make the connection between geometry homework and reaching their goal of being a strong thinker or getting into college or developing some other practical life skills. Parents have to fill in the gaps and make the connections about why and how certain activities are essential for them to reach their larger life goals. 解释原因。有些孩子常常不乐意把几何作业和他们的目标——想成为一个很有能力的思考家或者考上大学再或者培养一些其他的生活技能——联系起来。家长们必须弥补这个空隙并且建立一定的联系，将为什么要做某些活动与这些活动对他们实现较大的生活目标有着怎样的帮助联系起来。
4. Reflect back. When your child demonstrates hard work, even doing something as simple as helping you carry the groceries, reflect this back to them in a manner that allows them to see their own abilities. You can say something like “Those grocery bags are heavy and I’m amazed that you were able to carry them inside”. This allows the child to make the attribution internally between their behavior and their physical strength, resulting in thoughts like “I’m really strong”, that come from within and not from outside themselves. 反馈。当你的孩子展示出努力工作的品质时，甚至是做一些简单的事情，例如帮你拿生活杂物，你要以一种有礼貌的方式把这种信息反馈给孩子，让他们看到自己的能力。你可以这样说“这些杂货袋很重，我很惊讶你刚刚能够把它们拿进来。”这会让孩子在内心归因于行为和力气之间的关系，产生像“我真的很强壮”这样的想法，这个想法是来自内心深处而不是来源于外部世界。