标题: 一个词就可以扼杀一段友谊 下 [打印本页] 作者: 司马如花 时间: 2015-10-20 10:46 标题: 一个词就可以扼杀一段友谊 下 [attach]9508[/attach] That being said, just because “busy” is not a word that generates closeness, that doesn’t mean you can’t communicate the same thing in a way that does generate closeness. Here are some tips for telling your friends you can’t right now without hurting their feelings.
也就是说，“忙”不是一个能产生亲近感的词，但这并不意味着你无法以能够产生亲近感的词来表达相同的意思。以下是一些建议，帮助你告诉朋友，在不伤害他们感情的情况下告诉他们现在不行。
1. Be Specific. 说具体
There’s an easy way to eliminate the vagueness of “busy” and that’s by telling your friends specifically what you’re busy doing. Of course, being specific takes a bit more of your time and effort – something that can be challenging when you’re really swamped. But it’s worth doing because the difference in how the message is received is significant.
有一个简单的方法可以限制关于“忙”的模糊性的表达方法，就是具体地告诉你的朋友你正在忙什么。当然，讲详细会花去较多的时间和精力——当你真的忙得不可开交时，这样解释是一个挑战。但是这样做是值得的，因为其区别在于如何接受信息，这是至关重要的。
Let’s say you invite a friend to your birthday party and she writes back, “I’d love to but I’m really busy!” Alternatively, she writes back, “I’d love to but Jack has Karate that evening and he specifically asked me to watch him this time. Have some champagne for me though!”
接下来我们说一下你邀请朋友参加生日聚会的例子，她这样回到“我很愿意去但是我真的很忙！”或者，她可以这样写“我很愿意去，但是杰克那天晚上要学空手道，这次他特别要求我去看他。尽管如此，还是给我留一些香槟！”
Feel the difference? The second message explains your friend’s reasoning, gives context, and communicates that she’s still invested in your happiness. The first message, frankly, is a blow-off.
感觉不同对吧？第二个信息里你的朋友解释了理由，回复短信并且交流，她依然会使你感到开心。第一个信息，坦白说，就是一种不重视。
2. Set a Time Frame. 设置一个时间框架。
If you’re busy because of an especially difficult crunch time either at work or at home, it’s helpful to make your friends aware of how long this “busy” time will last. For example, if you know your product will launch in a month and you’re schedule will open up soon thereafter, communicate your desire to reconnect with everyone then.
不管是在工作还是在家，如果你是因为某件特别困难且要紧的事情而忙碌，让你的朋友明白这段忙碌的时间还将会继续持续下去。比如，如果你知道自己的产品会在一个月内发布，并且发布之后你的行程就有空了，那么就要表达你想要重新联系每个人的愿望了。
Even if the product slips and the month turns into two, your friends will appreciate that you expressed a desire to be together again as soon as you can.
即使产品发布延期，由一个月变成两个月，你的朋友也会感谢你表达了想尽快和她们一起的见面的愿望。
3. Determine if You Need to Have a Difficult Conversation. 决定你是否需要一个高难度的谈话
And now, it’s time to confront the dark side of “busy.” As we all know, “being busy” can be a method by which we disengage from a relationship we no longer want to have. The kids call it “ghosting” – distancing yourself from a relationship without ever explaining why.
现在，是时候来面对“忙”的黑暗一面了。正如我们知道的那样，“忙”是摆脱一段不想要的关系的一种方法。孩子们管这叫做“鬼影”——使自己远离一段人际关系甚至不解释任何原因。
If you’re using “busy” in this way, it’s worth determining if you need to have that difficult conversation with the person you’re ghosting. While it’s always uncomfortable to “break up” with a friend, some friendships deserve this attention. In some cases, it’ll cause great sadness to both parties to “busy” a friendship to death.
如果以这种方式使用“忙碌”，这就值得考虑你是否需要和想要远离的人来一场艰难的交谈。虽然和一个朋友“断绝关系”总是不那么舒服，但是有些友谊值得付出这样的关心。在一些案例中，“忙碌”会引起双方巨大的悲伤，直至这段关系死亡。
So that’s it! Try saying goodbye to “busy” and see what happens!
所以就是这样！试着对“忙”说再见，并且寻找快乐的事情！