标题: 帮助孩子处理友情失意的八条建议 [打印本页] 作者: 你也是蘑菇嘛 时间: 2015-9-7 11:55 标题: 帮助孩子处理友情失意的八条建议 How do you help your child whose been let down by his friend?
你如何帮助孩子们处理：朋友让我失望了？
1.Don’t make your child feel worse if a friend has let her or him down. When we jump into the “I told you so” mode, we are compounding the hurt, not helping with healing!
如果一个朋友让他或她（指孩子）失望，那么就不要让你的孩子感觉更糟。“我早就跟你说过了”当你跳到这样的模式时，我们就是在加重伤害，而不是帮助他们愈合伤口。
2.Remind your child that trust is a gift and to place trust in friends who show they trust her and can be trusted, themselves.
提醒你的孩子，信任是一个礼物，要信任那些信任自己的人，和那些值得信任同时也自我信任的人。
3.If your child is worried that each new friend she tries to make is a risk, remind her of the previous times he was successful in making healthy friendships – “remember how you and Marco became good friends when you first joined the soccer team?”
如果你的孩子担心，她尝试结交的每一个朋友都会存在风险，那么提醒她，之前很多次她都能很成功的建立健康的友谊——“还记得吗，当你第一次加入足球队的时候你是怎样和马可变成好朋友的？”
4.Don’t jump into all of your child’s friendship conflicts – we all need to learn how to protect our hearts on our own.
不要介入所有的友谊冲突中——我们都需要学习如何保护自己的心（不受伤害）。
5.Be willing to allow your child to make some mistakes in life, but be there to provide damage control, as needed. We cannot oversee every friendship, but we need to be willing to help a child pick up the pieces if a friendship fails.
允许你的孩子在生活中犯一些错误，但是要在必要的时候提供一些损伤控制。你无法监督每一段友谊，但是如果孩子们在友谊上失败了，我们必须愿意帮助他们重新站起来。
6.Remind your daughter that even if practicing good friendship behaviors won’t help this particular friendship, it is great practice in being the friend you would want to be for future friendships.
提醒你的女儿，即使好的友谊行为也不会帮助到这段特别的友谊时，那么这个好的实践依然可以为未来做准备，让你成为的你想成为的好朋友。
7.When friendship groups push a member out of the circle, that child may be much more willing to tolerate even worse treatment from another group just to feel a sense of “belonging.” Help your child recognize what is okay and not okay in terms of how others leave her feeling about herself.
当一组朋友将一个成员排斥在朋友圈之外，那个被排斥的孩子可能会很情愿的忍受来自于其他小组甚至更糟糕的对待，这么做仅仅是为了有“归属感”。他人带给自己什么样的感觉，而且这个感觉还是和自己有关，就这一点而言，要帮助你的孩子认识到哪些感觉的可以有的，哪些是不可以有的。
8.Lastly, model good friendship behaviors for your child with your own friends; help him see how friendships handle misunderstandings, conflicts, or challenges. We cannot learn how to be a good friend if we don’t see others practicing the right skills.
最后，你和朋友的互动要为孩子树立良好的友谊行为；帮助他明白如何处理误解、冲突或挑战。如果我们没有看到他人实践正确的技巧，那么我们就无法学习到如何成为一个好的朋友。
